Chasing The Perfect Moment…

  “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”                                                                     ~ Henry David Thoreau 

 Some things…arrive on their own mysterious hour; on their own terms and  not yours, to be seized or relinquished  forever.              Gail Godwin

 God speaks to us endlessly in so many ways. Through the skies that herald blue or the pinpoints of light in the vast darkness of night to the simplest of nature down to the dust that settles across Great Plains, He speaks to us. Inherently drawn to what speaks to us from our soul God knows the personal venues that get our attention. All we have to do is ask. His talents so magnificent and vast He will not fail to respond.

 During one of the most trying times in my life, in an endeavor to reach beyond the mundane and break free of the self-inflicted chains of my life at that time, I sat in my backyard and prayed like I never had before. I asked God what was wrong with me. What was this emptiness I felt? Where was my life going?  While I half expected an answer, I got more than I bargained for with a dream that evening. It became the catalyst that began to change my life:  

There is a glowing brightness as I look upward shielding my eyes from the sun suspended in the bluest sky I have ever seen. I feel the sun’s warmth descending over my body giving me a sense of calm and awareness. As my eyes began to adjust, I look over towards a horizon filled with plush green trees alive with the movement of gentle wind. Rolling hills, valleys and fields of green begin to rush in from every side towards where I stand. The sounds of birds and children playing begin to fill my ears. The air carries a special feeling of warmth and happiness as I gaze upon families with their loved ones. I am at what appears to be a beautiful park. I stand in awe taking in the rich and vibrant landscape so filled with life and festivity. As I look over to my left and down a grassy knoll, I see a large, white sturdy pavilion with numerous wooden picnic tables. I see people eating and laughing joyously thoroughly involved in what is a beautiful and picture perfect day. I close my eyes and let the scene deeply imbed itself into my being.  Suddenly however, in the blink of an eye, a change begins. As I open my eyes, the sky is growing very dark. A layer of ominous night begins to expand and descend upon the scene. I feel great fear begin to rise in me as my muscles begin to tighten. I sense something is coming. Without warning and very quickly, howling winds begin to blow fiercely as storms develop within the now rolling clouds of darkness. Lightning flashes brilliant streaks of white light across the sky, as thunder booms voraciously in competition with the escalating sound of strong and growing wind. My fear heightens and becomes greater as I now see dark, ugly funneling tubes, tornadoes forming from nowhere, bringing paths of destruction and chaos down the hillsides and towards me. Tumultuous rains begin to batter the ground, driving myself and others towards anything that will shelter us from this devastating and catastrophic display of nature. Finally, as I stand paralyzed unable to move, I hear a rumbling and sense movement beneath my feet. It takes a moment as the overwhelming alarm within me grows in the recognition that the earth is beginning to vibrate and actually shake beneath me. In horror, I watch as the dirt floor beneath me opens up and begins to swallow the world before me. Walls of flooding water rush over the hillsides carrying floating masses and chunks of earth and debris in a tidal wave to nowhere. Somewhere within me, something breaks and I run in desperation to the pavilion that only moments ago held a vision of happiness. Running past me, are the cries and screams of terror filling the space around me. People are disappearing into the blackness. I jump and reach out fast grabbing one of the pavilion poles just in time to see the pavilion itself begin to disassemble beneath me, the sheer force of water destroying the only present familiarity that was to be my security. As I bob up and down, clinging to the pole in a sea of water and rubble, I watch this world continue to vanish. There are no more people anywhere and no hint of a structure left. The sky is now eerily orange and glowing. Somewhere in the distance, strange objects that are unrecognizable to me begin to fly overhead, my terror reaching epic proportion as I realize there is no place to hide.  

I woke in a great panic with any semblance of emotional stability shortly gone. I felt utterly and completely alone.   As I continued to wake up, slowly reconnecting to my waking world, the strange emptiness continued to hold me in its grip. In a few moments though, a growing intuition tells me that everything I always took for granted is gone. Now sitting up in my bed and looking around the room, there is such unfamiliarity. In the foreign new space around me, I sense a gentle, subtle peace and calmness I have never felt before.

I was so full of the “me” I had created that there was no room for learning and discovering who I was at that moment, my dreams and aspirations stifled by my needing to control everything in my life because I was scared. The above dream was a blessing and a reminder that I continue to carry with me every day. It lets me know that God is so deeply involved with my life in every moment and to never take His talents or His gifts for granted. Not even the smallest of miracles. 

“I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn’t like the peace the world gives. So do not be troubled or afraid.”   (John 14:27)

 I would recommend the following video to men as well as women. Enjoy.